Memory and Consciousness

I often hear people tell me that they don't remember much of their childhood. That before a certain date or period in their life, they just don't have much there. My usual response to this is to wait about 15 minutes in the conversation until that topic has passed and then ask questions that evoke memories from when someone is young. Usually, I'll talk about a cartoon or something and then see if we can talk about the stuff somebody did during or after the cartoon. Thundercats works particularly well. Its very easy to disprove the claim that a person doesn't remember their childhood.

Then, there is the issue of whether or not the memories that we have of childhood, or yesterday for that matter, are constructed. Certainly to some degree they are tainted and filtered through our current conciousness, but how much do the core facts change?

I'll leave the theoretical and academic discussion for another time. I'm interested in a few very practical questions. In particular, I've always had, and still have a burning desire to share the experience of my consciousness with another person. Words are such a poor means of communicating internal reality. First, both parties can have no guarantee that the words being used are understood the same way by both parties. Second, describing a total set of senses, impressions and details would be very hard. Third, that which is communicated is necessarily conscious.

Now what do I mean by saying I've "always had" this feeling? Well, more accurately, I remember thinking about consciousness (albeit without the same complexity) from an extremely young age. And further, I firmly believe that these memories are not constructed because I have memories of these memories. This iterative recogitation of recogitation goes back in a chain every several months all the way to the age I was 5 or 6. This is probably very weird. Not many 6 year olds are concerned with consciousness, nor of memory. But, hey there it is.

In particular, I remember just before 1st grade, thinking about why I am "me" That is, why doesn't mommy, or brother, or grandpa feel what I am feeling. Why when I tell my arm to move, does my arm move, and not Matt's. Why can't Matt make my arm move (without hitting me). Oh, "me" is different from "not me" ok. where is my GI Joe...

Another moment, I remember walking from my house to the bus stop in 2nd grade. I remember the hill of the house next to mine on the way up to the intersection where we stood. I remember stopping and saying. "I will always remember this moment. And stopping at this moment. And remembering to remember this moment."

Also, I remember making that same assertion at other times. Yet, I can't remember some of the times I made that assertion, only that I had made it several times, and that some of the times I had made the assertion didn't stick, although the memory of failing the assertion did.

My next post is going to be an attempt to share as much of the full experience of cold whether running as I can. I've picked that experience because it is incredibly rich with both internal and external sensations, and those senses are more important than the conscious thought experienced during the activity.